I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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