Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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