so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
