I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
