She announced her abortion via fbk
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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