Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
