Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
