mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
