im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
