i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
