i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
