whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I don't deserve a penis
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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