I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
