im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
