He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
