where am i from again
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
