i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Did I show you my penis last night?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
