Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
