In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
