I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
