i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I love having hate sex.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
