i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
