Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
