between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So vagazzling was a success
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