Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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