oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
