U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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