you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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