u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
