what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
