you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Randomize
