Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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