You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
