she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
God, I missed his penis.
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