White coat. Heels.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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