Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
