I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
