dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
