The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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