we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
