Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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