I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
