I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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