i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
