I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
