when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
