STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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