i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
