I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
