My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
