why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
